COMPANIONSHIP

COMPANIONSHIP 

We read in the Bible how God created man and saw that it was not good for man to be alone. Hence He made a helpmeet of a woman for the man. One of the reasons God made Eve a helpmeet for the man Adam was for companionship. I looked up the word companionship in the dictionary. It says, a person or animal with 

-WHOM ONE SPENDS A LOT OF TIME. 

-A PERSON WHO SHARES THE EXPERIENCE OF ANOTHER, ESPECIALLY WHEN THINGS ARE UNPLEASANT OR UNWELCOME. 

-ONE OF A PAIR INTENDED TO COMPLEMENT OR MATCH EACH OTHER. 

Companionship can be found in a friend irrespective of the sex once you know your limit, but not all friends fit into the definition of companion. It's not every friend you spend time with or share experience with. Every marriage however must fit into these definitions. That is why you see that marriage involves some processes that friendship does not require. Spending time is commitment. Sharing experience is love. Matching each other is complementing not competing.

A friend shared an experience with me some years back about a much older couple who happened to be their family friend. The man, a successful entrepreneur was engrossed with his business all in a bid to give his family the comfort needed for a man of his status. This he did passionately and played golf at his spare time. The children went to the best schools. After graduation, the two got married and left home. Every time he invited the wife to go with him to play golf, she turned down the request. This infuriated him and caused an outburst one day. The wife in her response said, she had known him playing golf for over 28years alone, she had never been involved. She was used to staying home. The only time they travelled was when they went for family vacation not the two of them taking out time to be alone. There was really no intimate discussion except that which concerned the family or his personal dreams and plan. So near, yet so far away. Now that they are left alone, they can both see how wide the vacuum created has been. This incident brought a readjustment to my friend's family.

-Spending Time: How and with whom have you been spending your time? How you have been sowing (spending) your time determines the harvest you get tomorrow. How involved are you in your partner's life? Do you bring out the best in him or her? Is your companion really your friend or yours is a mater/servant relationship?Sometimes we tend to give ourselves pass mark but may be shocked at the ratings we'll get if assessed by the partner.

-Sharing Experience: when you share each other's experience, you are there for each other. Available for each other in good times and bad times. When you share each other's experience, you don't use it against each other if anything happens between you. Be each other's confidant. You can't be each other's confidant if you are not friends. Get really intimate (not just as bed mates). Be true. Be real. Be open.

-Complement each other: to couple is to join to form a pair. A thing that is coupled together work very well but when it is uncoupled, it has a mark/sign and the functionality is disabled. It is in complementing one another that there is productivity and efficiency. Two are better than one. To complement is to make complete or perfect. Look for each  other's progress, allow a blend. Any marriage where there is competition is not in alignment with the original intention of companionship that God created. This is because competition will bring strife. 

In reality it is tough because it is a lot of work that involves dying to self but the truth is it is possible to be true companions that God intended. 

Folakemi Olukoyede